blessings, (More counts her own)
I write a few lines to thank you for your kind solicitude about
me,
when you yourself were probably suffering so much
more. Mrs. R. T. confirms the
account of your very oppressive cold, Which I hope /will be
removd by/
the blessing of God on this fine change in the weather,
for it is now raining green pease and goosebery Tarts: and our
grass, which on Sunday was as brown as a Mat is now as green as an
Emerald.
I thank God my fever has given way and I am again much
better,
tho I had an ague fit the night before last, as I generally
have on every change of weather.
I heartily rejoyce at
the improvd account of
Mr.
T.
Lady Waldegrave
who spent a long day
here Yesterday
(which prevented my writing)
thinks he looks tolerably. In addition to her heavy sorrows,2 she
is now involv’d in two or three /law/ suits which are this moment
trying at Our Assizes, and in which, as her Antagonist (her late
Steward) a friend of
Mr. Bere’s3
a deep designing Man has made a party against her, I fear she will
be cast. Every thing however which relates to money is a trifle
compared with her other causes of sorrow.4
How mercifully have I been dealt with! and how often has that
promise occurred to me –
‘When thou passest thro the fire’ &c!
I often wonder I was not more overcome with terror at seeing
myself one Sheet of flame.
Miss Roberts’s grievous wounds, for she
was entirely burnt from her wrists to her fingers ends and was
obliged to have her ring filed off, are healed sooner than my
slight ones.
–
My shoulder and Arm only were burnt, not a single thread of the
Sleeve of my Chemise remained; it is however at present only an
inconvenience, and not a suffering – I cannot yet put on a gown
– but it is nothing more.
I feel quite thankful that I was enabled to keep us so stoutly
while you were with us,
as
I have fallen back into my natural, that is my bad state ever
since.
I am however better to day;
I fancy I feel more thankful for a day’s ease and a night’s
rest than those can do whose days and nights suffer no such
interruptions. Yet I am conscious of not feeling half grateful
enough for the unnumbered and undeseved [sic] mercies I
enjoy.
With such a provision as you have furnished for my body and
mind, added to my many mercies, I must not complain of
solitude and silence, for
tho I have been so ill the last ten days as scarcely to
be able to see any body, much less to talk to them I can
read and drink Soda, two luxuries which so many invalids
have not, or having, cannot enjoy.
Death has again been thinning the ranks of my beloved
friends.
Mrs. Porteus
has followed
her dear Bishop, I trust to the land of everlasting rest. She was to me a
faithful and attached friend for 35 Years, and one of that sure
and steady character that, in that long period, I never
experienced from her a wry word; /or a cold look. I always spent
June with them./
She had been thro life the healthiest Woman I ever knew, and
her fine person and sound health gave you no idea of age.
She taken, and I spared! Such is the dispensation of
infinite wisdom!
I have delayed writing from day to day till it should please
our gracious father to determine the fate of our beloved
Mrs. Thornton .
That afflicting event has now taken place near a week, and yet I have not had the heart to write. * You doubtless have been informed by
the same kind hand
with myself, of the fatal progress and final termination! God’s
will be done! This we must not only say but submissively
assent to under dispensations the most trying.
And surely the removal of our dear friend is a very trying as
well as Mysterious dispensation.
To herself the charge is most blessed. To her children the loss is
most irreparable.
Poor dear Orphans! little did we think a year ago of
this double bereavement! but let us bless the God
and father of our Lord Jesus Christ that he enabled this
suffering friend to bear her dying testimony to his faithfulness
and truth . Never was a sweeter death than that so feelingly painted by
Mr.
Wilberforce How strong must have been that faith which not only
lifted her so much above all worldly considerations /but/ which
enabled /her/ to commit her beloved children, about whom her
anxiety had been so excessive, to the father of the fatherless. It
has pleased God to raise them, among many friends,
Mr.
and
Mrs. Inglis
to whose care she consigned, and who have generously accepted the
charge. They are peculiarly fitted for the purpose, sensible,
pious, amiable, strongly attached to the Thorntons and without
children of their own. Thus is the saying illustrated that
the Seed of the Righteous shall never be forsaken.*
My opinion is that Mrs. T is dead of suppressed
grief.
She reminds me of part of an Epitaph I have seen, only changing
the word day for Year
You have I presume already been some time at Sea, exposed to
an element which whatever benefit it may afford to
your beloved patient is not I fear good
for your own delicate health.
An Object which it is more than ever your duty to consult and of
which I hope your [sic] are very careful.
I shall feel anxious to know the result of this new Voyage on the
beloved Object of your attention* You did right not to
delay your setting out, as it is at present extremely cold here;
but
blessed be the giver of every good gift the weather is very dry
and has been so for near a Month. I say we ought to live upon
our knees in continual praises for this seasonable relief.
The fruits of the earth are abundant, and trade reviving every
where but in my two poor Mining Villages* whose very
existence depends on the Brass Trade, the only species of Commerce
which is totally dead.
Had I written a few days ago
I could have given you a favourable report of my
Sister.* but she has had another
of her alarming attacks in the lungs and is just now now faint
and weak.
I thank God, who is always better to me than I
deserve, that I have been tolerably for some weeks.
Your account of the increasing excesses of the Baringites is
shocking.* I begin to think now that the worse they are
the delirium they have excited will be the sooner cooled. What
between the blaze of these new lights and the frost of the worldly
clergy our poor church is sadly threatened. I would not send off
this which I cannot ever look over but that to morrow there is no
post, and
Mr. D.
may be in suspense.
Mr. Dunn has been
false-hearted, for I thought he would have looked in upon us
again . I rejoyce
Charles Grant
is so popular. He cannot be more so than he deserves. if he woud
talk more he would be perfect. I am glad his rare talents have
such a field. I am afraid tho, that it is a weedy, tho far from
being a barren field. I long to know whither the School for the
Sons of the great at which
Mr. Grant
sent me the prospectus prospers, if it does I shall hail the omen
for poor Ireland. I grieve for dear
Mrs. Grants
illness. I do love her. I am glad you nursed her so kindly
I have received about a hundred letters full of kindness and
condolence, and many of them, of piety – but I have felt myself
utterly unable to answer them – You will be so kind as make this
true apology to any friends who may think themselves neglected.
My health has been very bad, and neither body or mind has yet
made much progress, the former I hope is most in fault, for
I bless God my mind is I trust unrepining and
submissive,
but it is still very weak. I am forbid by my
Doctor to see company, for which I am
thankful as
I have no heart to see any but two or three particular
friends in my own room – for talking brings back the complaint
in my chest.
Your excellent
Mr. Dealtry
kindly
promises to come to see me from
Bath
–
I hope it will not be till I am much better, as I should be
sorry to see him only for an hour in my chamber which
is all I can yet do.
It is grievous too that
Lord
and
Lady Teignmouth
should be at
Clifton
at this time – It is many years that we both looked
forward to seeing those dear friends for a few days, and
[deletion] now I can so little profit by their neighbourhood is
painful to me.
I spare myself entering on the details of
her four dying days – They were exquisitely
painful; but
blessed be God, the trial was not long, and every interval of
reason exhibited. the strength of her faith and the
resignation of her Soul* – She cast herself entirely on the mercies of God,
and the merits of a crucified Saviour. I believe never was an
obscure individual more generally lamented – this is only
gratifying as it bears such a testimony to her worth. The
kindness of the good is very soothing, but real consolation must
come from a higher source.
What is become of you? Where are you? What are you doing? It would
indeed be more ‘germain to the Matter’ to put these interrogations
to me,
as I have long been in your debt for a delightful letter . There is another reason for your not asking where I
am,
as I am sure to be found in the bow window in my bed chamber.
It is now about two years since I have been down stairs, and I
think four years and a quarter since I have been in any house
besides my own. It is not at present that my locomotive powers
are not equal to travel down stairs, but that this unmannerly
summer – as Charles Hoare calls it, made my
good Dr. Carrick order me to
run no risque . I have however a pleasant prison, and am not anxious for a jail
delivery.
My health is much /better/ ,
thro the great mercy of God, than there was any human
probability would ever be the case; with frequent solitary
interruptions of bad nights. This is necessary to remind me
that this is not my rest, and that this short reprieve is
granted me for the great work of repentance and
preparation.
I see a good deal of company in the middle of the day, too much
my Doctor thinks, but have yet had no one to sleep but the
Hoares,* and another friend.
But the Post occupies and fatigues me much /more/ than my
guests. If you saw my table most days, you would think, if I were
not a Minister of State, I was at least a Clerk in a public Office
and these pretty businesses it is,
that so often prevent my writing to those dear friends with
whom it would be my delight to have more intercourse
I find however a good deal of time to work with my hands,
while
Miss Frowd
reads for the entertainment of my head. The learned
labours of my knitting Needle are now amassing to be sent to
America to the Missionary Society* who sell them there,
and send the produce to the
Barley Wood School at Ceylon .* So you see I am still /good/ for something.
You are become a good creature, to be so considerate as not to
wait for an answer, which my heart is more ready to make than my
hand.
Thank God I am just now tolerably well, but I have been much
otherwise on the whole.
I have however had some occasional good days, on which I have
seen, what my
kind Doctor thinks too much company
