health, (More's own)
I never so much as heard of
Howe’s Treatise
on delighting in God – O give me a Book which will teach
me to do so! The very name gets one an Appetite, or
rather makes one long to get it. – Indeed I read little of
Spiritual things, and of other things scarcely one Word.
I am something like a gouty or intemperate General Officer, I
am either in my bed or in the Field; pain and Action pretty
equally divide my life between them, with some preponderance,
however, I thank God on the latter side, but reading and writing
are things almost as much out of the question with me as with
the poor savages I live with, for if I am well enough to be
up I am well enough to be out, in a general
way.
Mrs. W and all of you must have
thought me if not “rather a kind of imposter”, yet rather a kind
of a brute not to have written a word since we parted, so kind
as you all were to me! But I know how you are overdone with
writing and I spare you every unnecessary line.
To speak the truth I have been a little worked myself and
for the few last days have been confined to my bed by one of my
feverish colds; I am sitting up a little to day but not in very
good writing plight having a blister on my back as broad as
little William’s
face.
I wonder if I shall ever see that said little William? –
To thank you over-warmly for your feeling and affectionate
letter would be to imply that it was possible I coud have
suspected your large liberality and considerate kindness .
I shall obey you by dedicating
Mrs. Barnards kind legacy to
the purchase of a post Chaise, and her Annuity to the
maintaining it . I
hope I shall keep within the limits of your allowance.
Any two periods of the year it will be the same to me to receive
it. Christmas and Midsummer are my usual grand seasons, but if a
Month or two or three later will suit you better, I can manage
as I shall have some money of my own to take.
An inflammation in my eyes making a part of my indisposition
compells me to end –
I write a few lines to thank you for your kind solicitude about
me,
when you yourself were probably suffering so much
more. Mrs. R. T. confirms the
account of your very oppressive cold, Which I hope /will be
removd by/
the blessing of God on this fine change in the weather,
for it is now raining green pease and goosebery Tarts: and our
grass, which on Sunday was as brown as a Mat is now as green as an
Emerald.
I thank God my fever has given way and I am again much
better,
tho I had an ague fit the night before last, as I generally
have on every change of weather.
I heartily rejoyce at
the improvd account of
Mr.
T.
Lady Waldegrave
who spent a long day
here Yesterday
(which prevented my writing)
thinks he looks tolerably. In addition to her heavy sorrows,2 she
is now involv’d in two or three /law/ suits which are this moment
trying at Our Assizes, and in which, as her Antagonist (her late
Steward) a friend of
Mr. Bere’s3
a deep designing Man has made a party against her, I fear she will
be cast. Every thing however which relates to money is a trifle
compared with her other causes of sorrow.4
This is my first letter since my visitation. – not but that
I could write, for my Sword Arm escaped the
fire.
But thro’ the extreme and undeserved kindness of my friends, I
suppose there have been not much less than a hundred letters of
inquiry to answer, and tho it sadly overloads
P. who is not well and assisted by
S – yet I forbear writing to those to whom
I wishd that I might conscientiously say I had written to none –
this has given me a little time for my other business.
I have generally managed in the same way with visitors, which I
believe includes every creature /(visitible)/ within ten Miles,
so that having so good an excuse I have rather gained time than
lost.
How mercifully have I been dealt with! and how often has that
promise occurred to me –
‘When thou passest thro the fire’ &c!
I often wonder I was not more overcome with terror at seeing
myself one Sheet of flame.
Miss Roberts’s grievous wounds, for she
was entirely burnt from her wrists to her fingers ends and was
obliged to have her ring filed off, are healed sooner than my
slight ones.
–
My shoulder and Arm only were burnt, not a single thread of the
Sleeve of my Chemise remained; it is however at present only an
inconvenience, and not a suffering – I cannot yet put on a gown
– but it is nothing more.
Allow me to offer You a plain and simple, but sincere and
cordial assurance of my gratitude for the great honour you have
done me, and the great gratification you have given me, by your
elegant and beautiful
Poem *. Tho I feel myself, (and there is no affectation in
declaring it) very unworthy of the kind and flattering things it
contains, yet I feel a considerable addition of pleasure in
perusing it, from the idea that it is your approbation of the
serious Spirit in
the little work* which you are so good to commend which disposes You
to overlook any defects in the composition;
defects multiplied by bad health which indisposes, and partly
incapacitates me from correcting coolly, tho it does not yet
always prevent me from writing rapidly, and therefore I fear,
carelessly.
Now for the reason why I did not write on Saturday –
Since you left us I have had and still have, a most severe
bilious attack which I am thankful waited your departure
before it appeared,
as
I should have been grieved to have lost any of the little time
in which I was within reach of enjoying your Society.
I feel quite thankful that I was enabled to keep us so stoutly
while you were with us,
as
I have fallen back into my natural, that is my bad state ever
since.
I am however better to day;
I fancy I feel more thankful for a day’s ease and a night’s
rest than those can do whose days and nights suffer no such
interruptions. Yet I am conscious of not feeling half grateful
enough for the unnumbered and undeseved [sic] mercies I enjoy.
I feel the benefit of this dry Air and have suffered less and
Slept more since the frost, severe as it is, set in.
My love to
your fair Companion
My Sisters
present best respects
When I get a good day, which is not often that [tear] fair and
alluring vision of
Brampton Park
dances before my eyes and
P.
and I actually ta[lk] [tear] of plans and measures.
Should this favorite pray[er] be realized I think we should, with
submission to /the will of/ a higher power manage to be with you
the middle of May at farthest. Remember that I Visit you
on an Apostolic principle
seeking not yours but you*. So dont be anxious about company.
I this moment receive your too kind letter, and tho it is late,
and tho it is not a writing day,* and
tho
I have been so unusually ill the whole week,
I could not sleep if I did not send you a line. I cannot
express the vexation the mortification, I feel at your not
having got
the book
from me.
* I directed not
Hatchard, but
Cadell the Publisher
who is always the dispenser of presents because they are
sent a few days before publication to send one the very
first hour to
Bruton Street
– and you have not had it – I should have ordered it to
Huntingdon
with the Bishop's but you my dearest Lady preferred your town
House. Such a thing ought not to vex me so much as it
does. If you do not find it in Bruton Street – which you will be
charitable enough to tell me, I will order
Hatchard
/Cadell/ to send you the very first of the 2d.
Edition, which as the delay has been already so great will I hope
put you in possession of a more correct copy. Believe me, it is
not that I overrate the Book, by laying so much stress on this
disappointment, but that I cannot bear the suspicion of neglect,
where both my affections, my esteem and my gratitude are equally
concerned.
With such a provision as you have furnished for my body and
mind, added to my many mercies, I must not complain of
solitude and silence, for
tho I have been so ill the last ten days as scarcely to
be able to see any body, much less to talk to them I can
read and drink Soda, two luxuries which so many invalids
have not, or having, cannot enjoy.
Being to day under the disqualifying dominion of
Calomel*, I can only write a
hasty line on the principal topics of your little /but/ kind
letter.
As far as two sickly human beings can venture to
determine, P. and I hope to appear to you
at
Brampton Park by the middle of
May;
but
the precarious state of
my eldest Sister adds to our uncertainty,
tho she is much /better/
Such a nice, long and truly interesting letter as you sent me had
a claim to earlier notice. But even now I must rather be contented
to thank you for it than to answer it.
I have had a severe attack of illness. To others it would have
been but a
cold, to me it has been a bad-ish
fever. I am so far on the recovery as to sit up. But I am so
thankful to quit my bed that I am satisfied to keep my room
which I however hope to leave in a few days
If I can get rid of my
cough
P.
and I are engaged to go to our dear
Dean of Wells
about the 29th., being there we must also acquit ourselves of a long promise to
stay a little with
the Bishop. there will be a little difference in these Visits!!
Mr.
Way
I trust will not be likely to come just at that time as it is the
only time I shall be from home. Indeed the Dean I believe will be
of
the Jew party at
Bristol .
Tho this sickness has separated me from
my Apostle,
I shall conclude in his words by recommending you and yours
to God and the word of his Grace .
I am with true affection ever my dearest Lady O –
faithfully
yours
HM
Tho I have nothing /to say,/ and am not well enough to say it
if I had, I cannot forbear writing a line
to unite in sympathy with you, on the, I fear hopeless, state
of our dear invaluable Henry Thornton *, a letter from
Mr. Wilberforce * and
another from the
Macaulays last night, leaves us little or
nothing to hope. Oh! what a chasm will his death make in the
world! It will not only be irreparable to
his broken hearted wife , and poor
children*, but to multitudes of the poor and the
pious.
May God comfort us all, especially his own family, and
sanctify to us this heavy loss, by quickening us in our
preparation for our own great change!
For my own part, my hopes have been long very faint, tho in
opposition to the declaration of his eminent Medical
Attendants* I shall always think /
entre nous/ that corroding grief for
his unfortunate brother preyed on his
vitals, and laid his weak constitution open to any disease which
might attack it:
I dread that every post may bring us the final issue of this
long disease !
I long to know how your health /is/ and whether you have gained
strength by living quietly at home.
–
I have had
an Ophthalmia * most suffering. If all the dispensations of God
were not just and right, I should have said it came unseasonably
when I had so much [tear] for my eyes. I bless God they are
[tear] to me, after being consigned for some time to darkness
and idleness.
Tho I sent you a few days ago a longer letter than I write to
any body else, yet I thought you would wish to hear from me on a
Subject so interesting to you.
The day after
Mr.
Hodson
got my letter he and
his pupil
presented themselves in the morning and spent the day here. With
the latter I had only general intercourse, my chief
object with him being
to make myself as pleasant as my state of health allowed, and to remove any prejudice he might have entertained of my
being severe and dictatorial. While I sent him walking and talking
with
young Gisborne, I took the Tutor into my room for a couple of hours. I will as
nearly as I can recollect, tell you our chief discourse. His first
endeavour has been /not/ to give him any disgust, but to gain his
affection. He finds him conformable and complying with his
injunctions, but not in habits of application, or much given to
reading He is more anxious at first to bring him to stated habits
and a regular disposition of time than to force too much reading
upon him till he discovers more liking to it. At half past 8 he
gives him, I think about a dozen verse of
the Greek Testament
to study and meditate upon alone. At Nine he sets him to construe
those passages to him and after they have discussed the
Greek in a literary and grammatical point of view, he then
expounds them to him spiritually and Theologically: then their
devotions and a little walk before breakfast. I suggested that as
he is inclined to sit over his Meals that a short thing, a medium
sort of reading such as a paper in
the Rambler * might be well taken up. His Mornings are at present
engaged with
Quintilion
whom they study /both/ separately and together. I ventured to give
my opinion that as he would fill a great station in the world, and
was not much addicted to study it might be well to endeavour to
imbue his mind with general knowledge such as would be
useful in life, and to allure him to the perusal of history and
Travels; to make him learn a passage from
the Orations of Demosthenes or Cicero, in the Greek & Latin and then to translate and recite them
in English, and to labour after a good manner of
recitation. Mr.
H. told me, and Mr.
S. himself told
my Sisters
that they had spent their time in the most trifling manner at
Harrow, and that very little was required of them there. In consequence
Mr.
H says his habits of conversation are too frivolous, horses &c
&c being the favorite theme. Before evening prayer Mr.
H. reads and again expounds Scripture. This he says is all the
formal religious instruction he gives, for he /is/ afraid
to weary him, but he tries to make their walks, their common
reading instructive. I insisted much on the necessity &
importance of this, knowing it is the best way to mix up
instruction with the common pursuits of life. They sometimes dine
and drink tea out, but as it is in correct and pious company, I
thought it better for his youth than to be confin’d to a tete a
téte always with his Tutor. The latter likes his young
friend who has yet given him not the slightest cause of complaint.
Conceiving that you will be glad to hear from time to time a
word from me respecting
your Son,
I resolve to scribble a line, tho yesterday was a peculiarly
bad day.
Mr. Sparrow his Tutor and
Mr. Hensman spent a long day
here lately.
I took Mr.
H. as usual into my room; we had a very long discussion, and I
required an explicit account of their goings on, which he very
minutely gave me. I have the satisfaction of reporting that every
thing seems very promising; if the improvements are not rapid they
are at least progressive. At my request he has begun to attempt
composition. He reads
Watts’s Logic*and Mr.
H. makes observations on their joint perusal both of that and
whatever else they read together. As the days lengthen he
rises earlier which gives him more time for the
Greek Testament
before breakfast. He is translating some passages from
Demosthenes* which will help to form his Style. I suggested that
here after he should learn and recite some fine passages in
Burke’s Speeches.*
He reads by himself more than he did, and I lent for that
purpose
Plutarch’s Lives ;* and
Travels thro Germany .* I have also
presented
sent him
with
the Saint Paul of Barley Wood ,* which he has promised to read; I told him that
being written by one who had the honour to be his Mother’s friend,
it might interest him more. Mr.
H. says that tho he cannot say he sees as yet any
decided piety, yet he has great pleasure in seeing that
he [has] not the slightest prejudice against religion or religious
people. This is /a/ great point for ‘a
Harrow
fellow’.* But what I rejoyced at as the most gratifying
circumstance, was that he told me he possessed great purity of
mind. This is a blessed thing at an age when boys have commonly
their minds tainted.
May God’s blessing preserve it to him!
I think
Clifton
a very fortunate situation for him. I think now he is getting a
step towards manhood he would hardly endure the dullness &
total want of society of an obscure Village, where he woud
probably be too solitary, or led into inferior company. Now at
Clifton their little social intercourse is entirely among
religious, and well mannered people, and his Sunday’s Instruction
sound and good. It was Providential for poor distressed Hensman to
get Hudson to fill at once the Niche so fortunately
vacated by
Cowan,* or he might have forced himself into it again at
his return. There appears to subsist a pleasant affection and
confidence between the Tutor and Pupil and Hensman says the latter
has easy access to his house where he often calls, and
where he will get nothing but good. I have said so much about this
interesting youth that I have left myself no room for other
Subjects.
Death has again been thinning the ranks of my beloved
friends.
Mrs. Porteus
has followed
her dear Bishop, I trust to the land of everlasting rest. She was to me a
faithful and attached friend for 35 Years, and one of that sure
and steady character that, in that long period, I never
experienced from her a wry word; /or a cold look. I always spent
June with them./
She had been thro life the healthiest Woman I ever knew, and
her fine person and sound health gave you no idea of age.
She taken, and I spared! Such is the dispensation of
infinite wisdom!
You are very good to express so kind a wish to see us at
Brampton. Few things would give us more pleasure.
But I really think home is the only place for invalids, tho the sick in general seem to act on the direct contrary
principle But there is another reason – we have already refused
some invitations, to travel with /some/ friends and to go
to meet others. Among the latter dear
Mrs. H. Thornton * wished us to join her at
Malvern
in case she should be able to go. It was with reluctance I was
obliged to say I feared we should not be able to accomplish it;
tho, her sad situation considered, if we did any thing, it ought
to be with a view of seeing her. Notwithstanding her Christian
exertions,
every letter from her seems to wear a deeper shade of
woe.
But to return for one moment to
your Bible Gala
– How I should have delighted to have made an unworthy guest at
this hallowed festival! What did
your Neighbour
say to your muster roll of Peers and Peeresses? What honour would
he have done himself by joining it! A propos of Bible Meetings –
Our excellent
Bishop of Gloucester
rode over
Mendip
one broiling Morning to invite
P.
and I to spend the week at
Wells
and attend
a B. Meeting at
Glastonbury of which he is President .
I should have liked it much but we were to
/expecting/ Wilberforce at home, who after all never came till
it was over.
I regretted it the less as the Assembly met in the Abbot’s Kitchen
of that vast and venerable ruin; which was damp and dreary.*
What a contrast between the good cheer once proposed on this now
deserted spot and the holy purpose to which it was on this day
dedicated!
Tho my own health has rallied much from the dry Atmosphere of
this pleasant Summer, I have declined all visits, but believe I
must go next week to the two Bishops at Wells if P. is
better.
Her health I fear is declining, and she thinks /ill/ of
herself.
I pray God to avert this blow.
In spite of all my endeavours to avoid it by giving no
invitations, and returning no visits, we are sadly overdone with
company
but as every body is gone or going to
France* I suppose we shall live to pine in Solitude
Your letter affords so little hope of the continuance of
her
earthly existence that
I think there is more true kindness in writing to you, as are
without any expectation as to this world, than to labour to
administer false comfort ; to do this would not be doing justice to your strength of
character and to the lessons of wisdom you have been so long
imbibing. Who knows but your obvious submission to the Divine hand
which has inflicted these heavy strokes may not help to confirm
these principles of Christian piety /with/ which
Mr
Penington’s * mind seems penetrated.
God grant that the convictions of this estimable Man may end in
a sound conversion!
What joy would this give, not only to the Angels in heaven but to
the two happy Spirits who may soon be united to that blessed
Society. I do love this Penington. I cannot say what a
gratification it would be to me to be with you. It is for my own
sake I wish it, that I might learn how to die.
But my own infirm health, and still more that of
Patty would make us a burthen instead of
a comfort.
With such comforts indeed you are far more richly provided. I
cordially rejoyce that you are inclosed with such a circle of such
friends, and that those amiable and excellent
Inglis’s
are about to be added. My affectionate love to the patient
Sufferer. I am more disposed to ask comfort from her than
to offer it to her.
do come, a long way commonly, we cannot send them off with the lye
– not at home.
As to health I am the best of a bad bunch.
Sally has good days, but
P. I fear is very declining – constant
fever yet she is always employ’d
and I believe
Dorcas* never made so many Garments. Indeed the poor [final
section of letter has been cut away]
We have lately had a visit from
Mr. Wm. Parnell ,*
a most sensible and I believe pious Man ; he seems to have taken a deep interests in the improvement of
Ireland, and to be thoroughly acquainted with the existing state of
things. I am expecting him again before he returns. He speaks most
highly, that is more justly, of our friend
Daly. I hope e’re this you have made your visit to
Dublin
and the Environs. I want you much to see my very interesting
friends in that district. Pray my kindest remembrances to
Mr. Dunn
when you encounter him either by pen or person.
My poor Sister Sarah we fear is far gone
in a dropsy!
the others poor invalids.
I think I am rather the best of a bad bunch.
Love to dear
Millicent.
I commend you to God and the word of his grace
the Apostolic benediction. *
I am afraid you have thought me very /un/kind, and indeed
appearances are much against me. But besides the overwhelming
press of letters which always causes my answers to come slowly,
I have been for near a Month very ill with a wearing fever,
and am only beginning to recover a little; this has put me much in arrears both in business and in
friendship
I trust you will pardon my long delay in answering your kind
letter. It has arisen from a variety of causes;
when I received it
I was very ill of a bilious fever,
my two
Sisters
were confined at the same time, and we had nobody living down
stairs for near three weeks . I am much better, but still an
invalid, chiefly from want of sleep.
Patty has a complaint on her chest, and
constant fever, and is forbidden to talk , and
poor Sally is in a deplorable condition.
The dropsy is fallen on her legs which are much in the same
condition that
carried off my /last/
Sister .
All this is depressing to my Spirits I pray God to support them
and me during the short remainder of our pilgrimage.
In the intervals of sickness and
other engagements I have been called upon to write a number of
little papers and Tracts
with a view to furnish some little antidote to the poison of
disaffection and Sedition with which too many of the lower class
are infected.* I did not at first acknowledge myself
the Author but I was found out. Seeing it could not be concealed I
have now called them
Cheap Repository Tracts.
I have given them to Hatchard who will be
glad to serve you with as much of these penny wares as you
chuse; and pray recommend them to your friends for dispersion
among the common people,
the Songs are only three Shillings a hundred. New Tracts a
penny /each/
The Bishop and Mrs. Ryder have very cordially
pressed us to go soon to them, but notwithstanding all my
bragging just now,
I feel as if I should not [v]isit [tear] any more but be
satisfied with seeing my friends at home. For tho I am
tolerably well myself, my Sisters are but poorly, and we h[ave] [tear] not slept from home since this time
twelvemon[th] [tear] when we were at
Wells.
George Sandford
told me that the Bishop had invited him to meet you there, and
that Mrs.
R. who knows that her house and beds, have limits said, ‘he has
asked ten already.’ Dont mention this. She doubtless wished to
keep the party smaller and more select.
My poor health must plead my apology for my long silence; and
a complaint in my eyes must excuse the shortness of my letter.
I cannot however longer restrain the desire I have to send you my
cordial congratulations on the happy prospect of your dear
daughter’s
union with a
Man
so every way worthy of her. Your character of
Mr. Welby
is most interesting; and pleases me so much that I am much
disposed to be
Felicia’s
rival and to fall in love with him myself. It is indeed a serious
blessing to unite her to a man who is likely to promote her
happiness in both /worlds/ and who will attend to her immortal
interests as well as to her present comfort. May God bless them!
Two mornings successively I have set aside for answering your
letter with one or two others,
but from breakfast till now when the dinner is almost ready,
I have had a number of visitors one after another till I lost
my patience as well as my time .
However tho I have lost a few minutes (for an inflammation in
my eyes prevents my doing any thing by candle light)
I snatch up my pen, as perhaps you may be waiting for an answer
respecting Mr. Coan, thus he spells his name. * I am however not well qualified to give an opinion
as I do not know him at all. I believe him to be a very pious
young /man/ of the
Calvinistic School . But he is an Irishman with all the warmth and
impetuosity of his country. I should be grieved to say any thing
that might be injurious to a deserving Man but it /is/ my private
opinion that he would not be well calculated for the temperate
zone of
Clapham. He has got himself into two or three little scrapes and tho I
really am inclined to think he was not the aggressor yet
the habit of getting into scrapes generally indicates the want of
a cool temper. If
Clapham
was an obscure Village I should not have said a word of this, as
few villages are perhaps better supplied but he does not stay long
in a place I observe. I should /think him/ not fit for so
enlightened –
Patty
would say critical congregation as Clapham. Pray present
my best regards to
Mr. Daltry *
and tell him I begin to fear I must wait till we meet in a better
world before I shall /enjoy/ that long indulged wish of making his
acquaintance
I entertain better hopes as to seeing you and your admirable
friends
if it please God to spare me till the Summer I beg my most
affectionate respects to them and love to dear
Lucy
who is to be of the
Barley Wood
party.
Your extreme true kindness in writing me so
affectionate a letter,
when dear Lucy was so ill
was gratifying to me.
I have now heard from
Mrs. Macaulay
that she is doing well,
but that you are under some anxiety for the valuable health of
Mrs. Inglis . This gives me great concern which I am sure you will remove, if
you can, by informing me that she is better. Her life is so
important not only to the more intimate companion of her joys and
sorrows, but to all
his adopted family
that I cannot think of any serious illness befalling her without
taking the deepest interest in it.
I have frequently lamented that one of the worst effects of
sickness or sorrow is, that it is apt to induce selfishness, but
on this occasion I have not realized my own idea.
I have received about a hundred letters full of kindness and
condolence, and many of them, of piety – but I have felt myself
utterly unable to answer them – You will be so kind as make this
true apology to any friends who may think themselves neglected.
My health has been very bad, and neither body or mind has yet
made much progress, the former I hope is most in fault, for
I bless God my mind is I trust unrepining and submissive,
but it is still very weak. I am forbid by my
Doctor
to see company, for which I am thankful as
I have no heart to see any but two or three particular
friends in my own room – for talking brings back the complaint
in my chest.
Your excellent
Mr. Dealtry
kindly
promises to come to see me from
Bath
–
I hope it will not be till I am much better, as I should be
sorry to see him only for an hour in my chamber which
is all I can yet do.
It is grievous too that
Lord
and
Lady Teignmouth
should be at
Clifton
at this time – It is many years that we both looked
forward to seeing those dear friends for a few days, and
[deletion] now I can so little profit by their neighbourhood is
painful to me.
I hope to hear from you at your leisure
especially till Mrs. I. is better .
Mrs.
Macaulay
and Selina kindly promise to come to
relieve my Solitude soon
–
My complaint in my eyes must apologize for this scrawl – This
complaint is doubtless sent as a fresh weaning and warning. The
sight is not affected, thank God.
– We can pray for each other, and prayer is one of the last
Offices of friendship – Dear
Patty
had long been much in prayer, and thought (tho she never owned it
to me) that her summons was at no great distance. May we all be
united to her and your beloved parents in God’s own time
Take notice I write upon your information for I have not yet seen
the Sermon in question. I have had much anxiety on the subject of
Mrs. Inglis . Her life is so valuable that one cannot think without deep
concern of any thing likely to affect it. I beg my kind regards to
them both, and tell
Mr. Inglis
how much I felt the sympathizing kindness of his affectionate
letter .
I am now beginning to answer with my own pen a few of the
overflowing number I have received. I have deeply felt the
affectionate kindness of many though I have not been able to
acknowledge it.
My eyes are better, but I am not yet able to use them by candle
light, which now fills a large portion of ones time.
Mrs.
Macaulay
and her daughter* who have been with me near a Month
have most kindly supplied my lack of sight.
Alas! it is Newspapers that now fill too much of ones time and
thoughts. I tremble for our country politically and morally. I do
not know my own nation we certainly are not that England
I once knew, and must always love. I look to
the death of the king as the completion of our calamities .
Rivington
has asked leave to collect into
a [tear]le cheap book the Tracts and ballads agai[nst] [tear]
Se[dition] [tear] and blasphemy I wrote in the last year or two,
as they will now come from the Organ of Orthodoxy,
I hope they may make their way,
you must recommend the dispersion of them to all who come in
your way
I shall order one to be sent to
Mr.
Inglis .*
Two such very very kind and interesting
letters merit to be acknowledged with a gratitude proportionate
to their value.
Thank you cordially for the account of
your Royal Society. I delight in the prospect of improving good in the amiable
character of the Duke. you fill me with a hope of his growth in
piety.*
His Mother had a strong friendship for me
I always saw a great deal of her when in town, and in a long
illness when I was not able to answer her, she never failed to
write to me every week.*
I have received a very sensible and rather pious letter from
Princess Sophia just now. * I believe both brother and Sister want only right
Society and Christian friends to make them all we could wish. [Two
lines of deletion]
My health improves a little, but I still chiefly confine
myself to my chamber for a pretence to avoid an influx of
company.
In my room I receive my particular friends.
Yesterday Lady Lilford and her excellent
daughters came.*
Miss Emily spoke with delight of her visit
to Brampton –
Dear Lewis Way made me a long visit. He
was delightfully entertaining with his
Imperial communications ,* his sanguine, not hopes, but certainties, of the
near approach of the last days. While he is talking in his heaven
/ly/ anticipations, sanguine as he is, one cannot help adopting
his views, and hoping as he hopes. He has preached
twenty Sermons and Speeches within a week or two!! At
Bristol
my friends say he was almost superhuman.* He kindly
pressed me to go and spend the Winter at
Stanstead,* as
Mr. Harford
has done to pass it at
Blaise Castle
– but
for old age sickness and sorrow there is nothing like home –
Every paper I open of
my blessed Sister raises my ideas of her
piety.* It is plain that she had expected her great
change, for in her Pocketbook for this year,* she
writes, 'this is the last account book I shall ever want'! she
also says, – 'May every Year’s charities increase as becomes a
Christian woman'! A few hours before her death when in
exqui[site] [tear] pain, she said, on some one pitying her –
[tear] I love my sufferings, they come from the [tear] and I
love every thing that comes from him’. In her delirium she was
always giving away cloaths or Shoes to poor Men and Women; tho
this was in her wanderings, it showed the habit of her mind. I
never knew a more devoted self denying creature.
I am still at the end of two Months a close prisoner in my
chamber.
My Medical friend
will not allow me to quit it till the weather changes.
My most affectionate love to
Miss S.
Many thanks for your very kind affectionate letter .
It is not, I assure from want of regard that you do not hear
from me oftener, but from causes not under my controul .
You know perhaps that I have been confined to my room, with one
fever succeeding another for more than a year and half, and
these few last Months, in which I have been so much better, have
yet been so unlike Summer weather that I have not yet been
allowed by my
Doctor
to take an airing in the carriage.
I have however I am thankful to say been able to receive a
great many kind friends in succession in my room, and indeed I
have had almost too many affectionate guests, as much exertion
is bad for my chest .
The great loss to me with respect to my particular friends is
that I have such an overwhelming correspondence, applications
&c from strangers or slight acquaintance that those I best
love are most neglected by me. You among many others have come
in for a share of this neglect, which however by no means
includes forgetfulness.
I have lost
my amiable Secretary* for a few weeks.
My health is very far from being perfectly restored, nor is it
perhaps good for me that it should. I am in the best hands, and
desire only an entire submission to his will. I am very much
better than there was any prospect I should ever be
I wrote to the dear
Viscountess* as soon as I saw by the papers the happy event*
had taken /place./ but as I directed it to
Brampton Park
she may not yet have received it. My heart was with
you too my dearest lady but
a return of illness has put me back in my most interesting
duties. It was an attack brought on by my being overdone with
business, brot.
on me by the distress of a relation, whom I have put myself to
no small inconvenience to assist. – I am still very weak &
feverish.
What is become of you? Where are you? What are you doing? It would
indeed be more ‘germain to the Matter’ to put these interrogations
to me,
as I have long been in your debt for a delightful letter . There is another reason for your not asking where I
am,
as I am sure to be found in the bow window in my bed chamber.
It is now about two years since I have been down stairs, and I
think four years and a quarter since I have been in any house
besides my own. It is not at present that my locomotive powers
are not equal to travel down stairs, but that this unmannerly
summer – as
Charles Hoare
calls it, made my good
Dr. Carrick
order me to run no risque. I have however a pleasant prison, and am not anxious for a jail
delivery.
My health is much /better/ ,
thro the great mercy of God, than there was any human
probability would ever be the case; with frequent solitary
interruptions of bad nights. This is necessary to remind me
that this is not my rest, and that this short reprieve is
granted me for the great work of repentance and preparation.
I see a good deal of company in the middle of the day, too much
my Doctor thinks, but have yet had no one to sleep but the
Hoares,* and another friend.
But the Post occupies and fatigues me much /more/ than my
guests. If you saw my table most days, you would think, if I were
not a Minister of State, I was at least a Clerk in a public Office
and these pretty businesses it is,
that so often prevent my writing to those dear friends with
whom it would be my delight to have more intercourse
I find however a good deal of time to work with my hands,
while
Miss Frowd
reads for the entertainment of my head. The learned
labours of my knitting Needle are now amassing to be sent to
America to the Missionary Society* who sell them there,
and send the produce to the
Barley Wood School at Ceylon .* So you see I am still /good/ for something.
I am thankful to say that my health is greatly improved. If I were a disciple of
Prince Hohenloe * it would be called a Miracle.
I do not go out, but am able to see my friends. Indeed my
excellent Physician finds fault that I see
too much company, but I cannot well avoid it, tho I suffer upon
it .
I hope you will recommend my friend
Cottle’s
‘Plymouth Antinomians’*. It ably exposes
the worst heresy that ever infected the Church.
I have been above a year and half confined to my room. I bless
God I do not feel any impatience to quit it, which they will not
allow me to do till the warm weather is confirmed. I am
generally able to see my friends two or three hours in the
middle of the day. They are very kind, but my Physician
complains that I see too much company.
This is sometimes the case, but when they come from a distance,
I cannot refuse seeing them; I have /had/ no one to dinner or
sleep. The Bp of Gloucester indeed is a
privileged person. If any do come My friend entertains
them below.
I am rather more than usually unwell to day, but I would
no longer delay to intreat you my dear Lady to think no
more of my little begging petition. If any apology were
necessary your immense building expences would be more
than sufficient, but none is necessary.
I have just received my little legacy from Mrs.
Garrick* which will carry me thro’ the exigencies of
the present season sufficiently, and I may not live to another.
Your charities are too extensive to excuse any one from proposing
new ones to you;
Even in my little way I find five applications for one
I used to have, what then must yours be!
You are become a good creature, to be so considerate as not to
wait for an answer, which my heart is more ready to make than my
hand.
Thank God I am just now tolerably well, but I have been much
otherwise on the whole.
I have however had some occasional good days, on which I have
seen, what my
kind Doctor thinks too much company
I am still at the end of two years and half a prisoner in my
chamber, but still thro the mercy of God, at times tolerably
well,
and commonly (but not always) able to see my friends in a
Morning.
As for me it has pleased infinite Wisdom to take from me all
the companions of my early and middle life, and to leeve [sic]
me to finish my journey alone. It is remarkable that I, the
youngest but one, and the most unhealthy of my whole family
sh[o]uld survive them all.
My sufferings have been great, but my mercies have been far
greater. It is two years and a half since I have been down
stairs, and four Years since I have been in any other house; but
tho I still continue liable to frequent attacks of fever, I am
on on the whole far more recovered than it was thought I ever
could be.
I see my friends in the morning and enjoy their Society . At my time of life and with my battered constitution I cannot
last long; but I am in the best hands, and I have long prayed to
have no will of my own
Tho’ after a bad night I am hardly able to hold a pen, I
cannot let the post go without a line
. Would that my most cordial Sympathy could be any comfort to you
and dear
Henry. You do not however want human consolation, you both deserve it
from a higher Source. What a comfort to your dear brother to feel
that he has in no degree contributed to the misfortunes by which
he is so severe a sufferer.*
May he may derive [sic] no small comfort from that goodness of
God which enables him to act with such pure integrity and to
submit with such Christian resignation to events which he could
neither prevent nor correct .
I shall most gladly receive you both, the change will do you
good . I am glad you talk of a fortnight hence,
as I am to have a set of holiday folks, whom I have promised
and cannot put aside . On the 27 I shall be most happy to receive you both with your
merry young One – I hope this may suit you – Do write again – You
are in my heart and in my prayers –
You will see /by/ my scrawl that I cannot recover the free
[use] of my hand, I cannot use it with impunity.
I hope yourself and family continue to enjoy health and all other
needful blessings
My own health is so far restored that if I were a disciple of
Prince Hoenloe
I shall be reckoned a Miracle
How shall I sufficiently thank you for your very great kindness
in sending me such a bountiful supply. I had not reckoned on so
large a Sum, and it will set me at ease as to some excesses into
which I have been almost irresistibly drawn.
I must /have/ contracted some of my concerns if I were younger;
but
never reckoning upon another year I do not think it right to
distrust Providence by abridging my little Schemes
– Little indeed compared to the ample extent of Yours. Only think
of the graciousness of God to give you the heart as well
as the means to educate, and thus rescue from ignorance,
and as far as human exertion can go, from Sin, every child in your
Parish! under your own immediate /Eye/ too!
Oh
The Magnitude of the good cannot be estimated. But oh to
anticipate those cheering words
Well done good and faithful Servant, enter Thou into the joy of
the Lord!*
If I were not on the very verge of Eternity, I should
earnestly request (what I dare not now give you the trouble)
for a copy of your plans, as I know all yours are will
digested; but
I shall never again visit my schools
(which are unfortunately at a distance)* Yet my young /Friend/ does
what she can, and visits them when the weather permits, and I
should be gratified to furnish her with any instructions of
yours.
Her heart is much in the business. She has a cultivated &
pious Mind
It is now six Years since I have been down stairs, yet I never
had more cases, more business, more company, and I have been
better than usual for some weeks
Nothing should have caused me to /delay/ thanking you for
your very interesting and kind letter but
a painful disorder in my eyes, not the
sight but lids. For these 8 Weeks I have not read as
many pages, and I ought not to write. When my eyes
are better I hope to say more, and express my /interest in/
all your concerns, as nothing that relates to you can be
indifferent to me.
Your last letter afforded considerable relief to my mind. Perhaps
it may afford a little to your mind to hear that the
subject has never been discussed in my present /ce/ . I have seen
several of our common friends, but it has been in mixed company,
when delicacy on all sides caused a complete silence to be
maintained People knowing my attachment to you and the degree of
intimacy with which you honour me has hitherto prevented my being
asked any questions which would have involved difficulty in the
answer.*
Mr. Way is here now on a visit
of some days . He is gone to day to preach at
Mr. Boak ’s little Church at
Brockley.*
I was sorry that neither the health of my self or Sisters
permitted us to accompany him. He was disappointed I believe but was too humble to take it
ill, or rather too reasonable to be dissatisfied with what is in
fact a dispensation of Providence.
I began this scrawl several days ago as you will see by the
dates, but indisposition and other interruptions have
prevented my finishing it.
Our Seraphic friend Way has left us. He seems to me not so much to
be going to heaven but to be already there.
I am a little alarmed for him, tho his Mind is perfectly well,
yet he is so compleatly absorbed in the great Object*
he has in hand that I fear it will wear him out.
His Mind is so imbued, I may say so saturated with Scripture that
one does not want one’s Bible whence he is. We kept him very
quiet, but in no company that he might gain rest and composure as
he is gone on to preach at several Churches in this district. We
had talked of you in public in a general way as to your health,
where you were &c – but before his departure I took him
aside and asked if he had heard from you lately, and when you were
coming to
Clifton. He set my mind much at rest by saying he had not heard anything
about you for some time; now as he was just come from
Bath, Clifton &c I comforted myself that the thing is not so much
discussed as you feared. I have also seen
the Powis’s who dined here
but not a word was said which might lead to the Subject.
I trust this transient cloud will soon be dispersed and your
mind restored to its firm tone, I should rather say your nerves,
for your mind seems to have possessed its full vigour in this
transaction
I have no impertinent curiosity but shall be gratified to know
hereafter, that all terminated to your satisfaction I am
grateful to God that the young person herself has conducted
herself so unexceptionably. Such an experience may tend to
strengthen her character beyond a hundred fine theories.
My good friend
Miss Frowd
is so kind as to take the pen from me,
as my eyes are not equal to say
more
than that I am my
dear Madam
faithfully yours
H More
When have I written so long a Scrawl? But I am not willing our
correspondence should dwindle on my part. – You cannot image how
overdone I am with letters –
when I am very poorly I sit and moon over the unanswered heap
instead of taking courage and getting rid of the debt: It
hardly leaves me any time for reading; especially when my Eyes
are bad – they are better thank /God/ .
I own I do not feel disposed to make Hazard any compensation for
what I know has been a gainful business to him. He thinks there is
a deal of money and he may get a share. I will give you an
instance of his covetousness.
He has just recommd. to me his Nephew as Master of
my new School at Wedmore with a high
character. His /Man/ has been in trade and faild for want of
Capital. As usual I found I must pay his debts before I coud get
him, but he and his wife seemd such superior people I thought it
right to put up with this /loss./ It was 30 or 40£ –
I proposed to Hazd. to advance £15 only which he was
to be repaid but he refused for so near a relation and has
thrown the debt in my hands. I must pay £25 or lose the Man To
help out this /Expence/
I assure you I refused to have any medical Assistance after
my Accident for being so far from Bristol I know it wou’d cost
a great deal.
I have been long wishing to write to you but was prevented
[deletion] by
many weeks of disqualifying fever and its attendant
sufferings.
Thro the mercy of God I am much better, that is I am got back
nearly to my usual state of moderate suffering.
My Sister Patty is very poorly
with that alarming determination of blood to the head which is
so much the reigning complaint.
May it please our infinitely gracious God by these awakening calls
to remind us how short our time is, and to prepare us for a change
which must soon take place!
It is now some time since dear
Mrs Hanh. More has
quite ceased from corresponding with her Friends, she has
therefore requested me to assure your Ladyship of the very great
pleasure with which she received
the late kind & affecte. Communication from
one whom she remembers with such unfeigned esteem
& regard.
Of those Friends indeed whom she yet does retain in her memory
she has the most kind & warm recollections, but it is the
Will of the Almighty that this faculty of her mind
should visibly & rather rapidly decline; its amiable
qualities however remain in full vigour, & as her
benevolence is still exercised in a degree only limited by the
very utmost extent of her pecuniary ability, her prolonged life
is a great blessing to very many.
The recollections too of the truly beneficial purposes to which
she employed her fine intellect when it was in full vigour, must
endear her to all who estimate talents only as their influence is
exerted for the glory of the great Grace, & the benefit of His
creatures –
she has still many cheerful spirits & is very open to
enjoyment & to the attentions of those immediate friends who
surround her, with whom she is generally able to converse
Collectedly & very pleasantly but as
the introduction of Strangers now bewilders & fatigues
her, it is deemed, by those who love her best & therefore
consider her most, advisable to admit none but very old &
intimate acquaintances to intercourse with her, altho’ to
enforce such a restriction requires (it is found) a very
Strenuous and determined effort, & brings upon
Miss Frowd, the kind & affecte.
friend who constantly lives with her, some reproach & ill
will .
My Sister
& myself inhabit a house not fifty Yards from her abode,*
& see her some part of most days, indeed are frequently her
intimates.
When your Ladyships letter arrived this dear & revered
friend was confined to her bed by
a pretty severe attack upon her Chest, which detained her there nearly Six Weeks; but she is now
restored to nearly her usual strength, & has entirely left
her chamber, she is perfectly reconciled to her change of Residence*
indeed that was the case very soon after the agitating event took
place, & she enjoys the sight of the beautiful Rocks &
Woods* from her Window, at least as fully as she did
the rural scenery of
Barley Wood. She enters enough into public concerns to lament the Religious
apathy on the one hand, & the Religious differences on the
other, which mark these portentous times, but above all, is her
mind distracted & grieved at the Spreading & Systematic
desecration of the [tear]th so deplorable in a country which calls
[tear]. She was able also to afford her full tribut[e of] [tear]
praise to the righteous & truly patriotic courage which
abolished Sutticism:*
Oh would to God she might yet before her departure have to
rejoice also over the abolition of the AntiXtian flagitious
System of Colonial Slavery or at least could have the comfort of
seeing every Bishop in this land maintaining a public &
stedfast opposition to this violation of every Xtian precept, in
his legislative capacity
– Dear Mrs.
H More desires me to convey her most affectionate regards &
acknowledgements, & with my Sister’s cordial respects I have
the honour to remain with much esteem
I am happy to be enabled (thro’ Divine Mercy) to say that this
dear venerable Friend enjoys a greater share of health than was
perhaps at any former period of her life allotted to her, &
altho’ her memory visibly & almost daily declines, yet her
sweet & kind affections, her placidity, her desire to make
all around her happy, & her readiness, nay eagerness to
distribute for every pious & benevolent purpose, remains in
fuller vigour than ever, & render the mild lustre of her
setting Sun most lovely & attractive: &
your Ladyship will be happy to hear, that at times when she
has thought herself about to be called to her Heavenly Rest,
she has expressed her entire willingness to depart, &
her fine & sure hope of Salvation thro’ the alone merits
of her Redeemer
–
